at the crossroad..

should i take up the offer?
and be a true blue marketplace Christian?

the offer sound great.. sales designer for a recognized interior design firm..
commission structure around the market rate..
near my "current" house, and near darling's workplace..

the only catch? or rather, beside the fact is solely based on commission,
is the fact that i will be involved in all their exhibitions..
they have 1 main exhibition each month, and each event will last for 2 weekends..
meaning, it will be a struggle to serve every week..

main duty, support, trainers, logis, recruitment, welfare, discipleship...
how???

God say i can trust Him..
but is this the path?
the rest of the offers are not as attractive, nor "seriously", something i would like to do..

at the crossroad now..
how would Jesus respond?

Don't complicate ministry!

You heard me said this before:

When Jesus called us to serve Him, He never intend us to complicate our intent to serve Him: our ministry.

His calling was very simple: go to the world, share the good news, make disciples and show them how to live life to the fullest. (Great Commission)

That’s all.

He never said that we are to go into “this” ministry, or “that” ministry..

Every ministry, as long as it fulfil the Great Commission, its ministry unto Jesus.

As long as we are able to fulfil the 5-fold ministries:
Apostleship: helping someone to go up the next level by your own actions / faith

Prophet: directing someone closer to God through your encouragement

Evangelist: showing them the love of God

Pastoral: taking care of them, as shepherds

Teacher: teaching them the kingdom principles of success and faith


Don’t complicate ministry and stumble others!

God will never be bothered by the ministry tag that you are holding on to.
He is only concern with how many people have you minister and encourage!

Be like Christ!
Not the Pharisees...

agree, accept, action, achieve...

Achievers always start their journey with a common focus.

but after talking to my team on sunday, somewhere, somehow, i felt that it will take some time before everyone will be speaking the common language when it come to ministry...

not that its their faults..

well.. everyone has their own focus, problems and desires..
some would want to focus on their careers or studies first..
some served to be promoted..
some.. jus happy to be serving..

When Solomon dedicated the temple, he got 120 trumpets blowers to sound the horns..
in unision.. to sound the invitation of God..
and as they sound the horns in 1 accord, the Presence of God came into the temple, and fill the temple, and it was so tangible that no one could move..

imagine.. the whole service are on the floor, floored by God's presence..
wow..

i believed the presence of God came not during the worship, nor the offering, nor the sermon..
but God showed up during the trumpet sounding.. becoz of the unity showed by the ppl..

120 different ppl.. each with different agenda, needs and desires..
but they all chose to come with a common focus.. a common goal..

Agreement....
agreement to put each other before self..
agreement to be better, for each other..
agreement to contribute, for each other..

there is only 1 reason why this team is called "Achievers"..
becoz i strongly believed that everyone is called to achieve the calling of God in their lives..
but to achieve, there must be first an agreement to help each other grow..

guys.. hear me outloud..
there is no place for SAF ushers in this team..
nor section..
nor group..
nor ministry..
not even church itself..

God never intend for us to Serve And Forget (SAF)..
He want us to improve, and be better each day..
Remember his words?
from glory to glory..
faith to faith..
level to level..

everyone must seek to improve..
different talents, different strenghts.. but equal contribution..

accept the calling over your lives!
start planning your journey toward that calling..
and start doing things that will bring you closer to that calling..

are you willing to run the race with me?

mixed feelings

announced my departure from MDIS to almost the whole world..
and well.. mixed feelings...
happy that i am leaving this "3rd world infrastructure, 1st world goal" place...
sad that i am leaving behind friendships forged..

but well..
time to move on..

many asked where would i be going..
i was hoping i can say i am taking on a $3k job.. but nah.. its not the case..
i am still looking around..

if you have any lobang, pls let me know...
haha..

Darling wasted 1 whole day in vain trying to put "Wenwen" back to health..
and i feel so sad tat i am not with her..
but well... darling.. dont worry ya?

love you..
always...

*huggz*

lessons from the best "team" leader

shortly after i posted the last blog, i received an email..
and maybe i just want to share some advices that she gave..

indeed.. i own it to this wonderful "discipler from afar" to inspire me to better myself in every areas of my lives..
she is more than a "position leader"..
she is more than a "teacher"..
but she is the role model.. a coach.. a mentor..

if we can choose who we want to be mentor,
there is only 2 persons i will choose.. ok.. maybe 8..
but this person.. well... anything she need me, i will be there..

(err... ok.. Rach.. i think u know what i meant rite?
heehee.. don't be jealous hor.. hahaha)

anyway.. enjoy the discipleship session:

1. To be a “TEAM” leader, it means you really need to sow into every members’ lives.
You can never change your teammates immediately because they are different from you

But you must think of how you can change yourself to impact them

There is no way we can change others unless we are first able to win their understanding and respect.

You can only disciple them when they show openness (willingly) to change to what you want to teach them to.

It don’t mean ignore the negative, but build on the positive, and be careful to always encourage.

End each conversation with a positive statement and encouragement to do better.

It's frustrating to see that things are not done the way you would have done, or to meet the standard that you could have had, but that’s part of training people.

No mistake, No failure: No learning.


2. We must remember that everyone are placed into our lives for a purpose, but each of them are at different stages of their life
Ask God how He can use you for each one of them.

Paul says that he is all things to all men, that all men through him might be saved.
So we must also play different roles and have different expectations for each of our members, so that each of them can progress on to the next level.

Never give up on someone you may think is fruitless, or even as “no hope”.
There are always potential in everyone, and we need to find the correct way to get them to understand and help them to "Kai Qiao".


3. We must always remember our 1st love, otherwise whatever we do will become meaningless.


4. It’s true that as we do more things in any position, we will find ourselves doing things that is not what we originally set out to do.
As you are tasked to do more things, you will be involved in a higher level of viewpoint.

You may not like to do certain administrative tasks, but when one understand that without the best admin structure, we can never give the best experience and welfare to our ushers, we will acknowledge and accept the importance of that “evil task”

Then again, we must never let admin be the focus and forgot about the original target: the members!

team leadership: the most difficult job in the world

the most difficult thing for us, humans, is to work in a team..

i can do many things alone, and often, its always a success...
doing things alone has many advantages..
i get to do things according to my own timing,
according to how i think its best done...

and even if things dont happen the way that i expected it to be..
i can just blame myself, and redo the whole thing..

but we are not called to be islands of success...
a great leader is a team leader..

and that is where we have to learn how to deal with the imperfections of others..
how others can't flow with us,
how others are so "different" from us..

different standards,
different urgency levels,
different focus...

different gifts,
different talents,

different personalities,
different problems..

its never easy...
but as a leader.. we have to learn to play the team game together.. in spite of the differences..

1. learn to build on the positive..
yes.. some may not even have anything good to say about..
then we have to seek his/her Creator and ask what treasure in that person does God want us to develop..

2. learn to forgive..
and while we may not forget, we try our best to look always at the positive..

3. focus on the bigger picture
nothing is more sorrowful than seeing the puzzle that God has intended the team to complete left undone becoz of the lack of unity...

everyone in the team must always let go of self, and be open to corrections so that the team grow...
but that also meant corrections are rendered to the ones in error..
not everyone in the team..
u dont demoralise everyone becoz of 1 fruitless member...

regardless whether are you a soccer fan,
go and read about Alex Ferguson..
he is one of the best team leader in EPL's history.. simply becoz he know how to harness the positive of every players..

bring it closer to home..
look at "HM"..
the only reason why she is producing leaders is that she know to ignore the flaws of her members, and build only on their positive..
and members become leaders.. not becoz of their talents or gifts or how good they are during duties... but becoz they have confident..

be like HM..
not other names we often hear about...

keep leading, like a real leader!

new start.. new challenges...

ok.. finally.. i am leaving MDIS on 18 Oct..
(serving my 1 month notice)

well... it was a bittersweet experience working here..
working with students was the easiest things to do..
even though some of them can be quite "*******" at times..

but what was the frustrating part of MDIS is the infrastruture..
the systems used are 3rd class...
none of the systems agree with each other, and most of the time, i have to serve other departments to make their lives easier, than to serve my students..

poor students..
i spend almost 6 hrs per day helping others to get promoted..
and only 1 hr to help students..
so guys.. u want to complain? complain against the whole MDIS..

anyway..
guess i will take this 1 month to look for better jobs..
while trying my best to keep my cool saying goodbye to the friends that i have made..
Rasid, Kohi, Anna, Clara, Dee, Sharon, Lihui...

29 days left in this place..
begining to pack up.. and kiss this place "byebye"..

hahahahahaha

Personal Burnout

before you continue, read the article "dealing with personal burnouts"

read the part on disappointments..
and well...
wat else do i need to say...

"God.. lead me..
no clear leadership.. no direction received so far..
how can i grow?

Remembering the Joy of my salvation

Resurrected!

funny how God move sometime..

regular readers will be very concerned about my well being.. well.. at least i hope you were concerned if you are my friend..

anyway.. i was feelin very depressed, and was dying spiritually and emotionally...
didnt want to wake up..
didnt want to think..

didnt want to work..
didnt want to serve..

didnt want to pray..
didnt want to lead..

didnt want God..
didnt want anything..

as mentioned in the last blog, i want to give up everything..

Rach made a special trip down to visit me and try to encourage me, without much success..

(dear.. i know you care.. and it hurt you to see me in such state..
sorry.. i was too emo.. too depressed.. but i never failed to appreciate all that you have done, or said, or your prayers.. i love you dear!!!)

as i send Rach home, i was asking God why is He playing with me?
leaving me to hang in the air, with no solutions to my hurts..
its not fair God!!
let me go..

"it look bad on friday..
and on sat, it was dark and terrible,
but on sunday, i will resurrect you.. hold on.. "I" am with you"

i mocked.

come sunday morning, i went down church early, faithless..
dead.. gave up..

but God didnt gave up.. out of the sermon, Ps D mentioned Jer 15:19 and it jump-started my spirit..

"then the LORD told me: "stop talking like a fool!
If you turn back to me and speak my message, i will anoint you to be my prophet once again.
i hope the people of Judah (world) will accept what you said.
But you can ignore their threats"

time to go back to God, to the basic... to the place of worship..
time to remind myself of the message that God has placed in my hands..

1 Timothy 2:7
"And I have been chosen (this is the absolute truth) as a preacher and apostle to teach the Gentiles about faith and truth"

God.. thank you for reviving the spirit in me..
thank you for resurrecting the dreams in me..

"the situations may not change, but with You alone, i shall continue the journey..
just to hear you say "well done" at the end of the journey..

let everything i do be according to your message:
to minister and encourage in His faith, love and hope...

the lion is back!
hear him roar!!

hahahahahahahahhahahahaha

Broken focus = Broken Dreams

was wondering why am i so depressed...
gettin up was a drag..
facing anyone is a dread...
everything seem so... sian...

RT send something that coz me to wake up..
broken focus = broken dreams..
and if i may add.. = broken future..

why am i here?

in usher?
didn't i return to be a minister of faith and love to the lost and church?
to add life to where i am in?
then.. why am i not doing it now?

looking at 2 songs tat i created with EG for the ministry..
and tears just flow.. esp when i repeat 4S5's song continuously..
i miss the days where i am having fun plannin events, activities..
i miss the close friendships with Everyone..

did i miss something?
how did i lost my focus?
how did i get so busy with everythin else that i forgot why am i here?
how did i get so admin minded that i feel so lonely here..
how did i get so busy with duties, that i forgot my purpose?

someone's words ring so loud in my head..
"how come i didnt hear anything from you?"

in campus ministry?
did i allow my needs for better pay to come before God's desire to reach out to the international students?
did i allow my unhappiness with the management to hinder God's plan to save those lives that i was called to?
did i forget that i was called to go to the world?

with Rachel, EG, friends?
was i too hungry for success for my own good?
was i too demanding for my own good?
was i too good?
too impatient?
too much?
too poor?

God.. take me home?
i am unable to carry on anymore..
take me home.. i am defeated.. worn out..

Greatness Is Never Defined In A Moment But In A Lifetime.

read the title a few times...

greatness is never defined in a moment.. but in a lifetime..

gettin very restless, confused, even tired these few days..
(sorry dear.. i know u were confused and wondering wat went wrong)..

but guess what?
i don't know too..

its like i am tore apart by many emotions..

and lookin at the email from RT, i am... well.. wat can i say...
when will my moment of greatness be?

Moses spent 80 long years before God used him..
only God know when He will bring me to the "promised land"

the future look so helpness...

no matter where i see, i dont see any excitment, anything tat interested me anymore..

emo.. emo.. emo..

leaders... who choose who?

received a sms from someone.. that set make me thinking...

do we choose who we want to disciple us?
or do our leaders choose who they want to disciple?

do leaders choose us?
or do we choose our leaders?

i remember a phrase from "Condor Hero"..
"disciples look for the best shifu... but the shifu look for the best disciples, and its so hard for both to find each other..."

and it so true...

are we placed in a partnership with someone we called our "leader" because we are here to learn from that person, or are we placed in a partnership to help that leader?

what would you choose to put as priority?

to learn, grow and lead?
or to lead, learn and grow?

would i want to be placed in a environment where i am able to be taught, encourage and challenged to be better?

or would i want to just the "big monk in the same temple"

i want to be the "small monk in the big temple"...
becoz i want to learn more, to offer more, to do more, to be given more responsibilities..

i don't ever want to be placed in a situation where i am the smartest, most talented person in the team.. coz i will start to become the "dwarf sun"... start to decline..

the expensive koi fish can only only grow in relation to the size of his environment...
and like the shark, i seek the ocean.. to swim freely.. to enjoy the vast ocean of opportunities...
i don't want to be like the dragon fish... so big.. yet happy to stay in a small tank..

(in case some religious people are reading this, and u are gettin a bit bothered and wondering why am i so proud of myself.. do a reality check..

Jesus didn't called us to be worms.. He called us to be giants slayers..
so if you think its hard for you to be proud of your own talents and strengths, you are either reading the wrong bible, love the wrong God.. or you should jus close this blog now..

how do you slay giants until you know you can face a giant with God in us?
how do you speak to mountains, when you are a worm?)

but then...
its not the size of the environment that really matters..
with size come the quality of the mentor..

is that leader placed over us becoz he is a leader producer, or is he simply a good leader who prayed, attended meetings and get everything done right, on time, everytime?

John Maxwell stated it so clearly in his 21 laws of leadership that only the strong can produce strongs..
a "8" will never grow under a "6"...
the tree produce the kind of fruits he is..

a leader producer...
Barnabas is a great example...

1) he never failed to encourage Saul to follow his visions..
2) he never failed to challenged Saul to step out...
3) he never limit Saul to try things out...
4) he never stop Saul from leading..
5) he never hold Saul back from becoming better and more popular than himself
6) he never remind others that Saul is where he is becoz of himself...
7) he let go...

who is a leader producer in our time?

"Sir",
you will always be my "dad", and i, your rebellious son that have left ur house..
still praying for God to bring our paths together, for me to serve God under your leadership again.. but... i rebelled.. i let go.. i deserted the house..

will u still wan me back?
yellow ribbons gave me hope.. but will u wear them for me?


"Jie"..
u are more than a leader.. more than a friend..
you are the barnabas that revived the fire in me..
without u... well.. let's just say i may never wan to step back into leadership...

so emo now..
thinkin back the times that i was discipled by these 2 wonderful leaders..
tears flowing down.. but tears don't bring back time..
memories are all that i have now.. and forever..

Pass the fire around! before we all turn cold...

was doing the recruitment newsletter the whole morning (yes... i have the biggest panda eyes on earth now.. bobo), and for a while, i was pondering what uncle Steven said:

"its so hard to get people to serve God now..."

and really.. looking back at the days of Hollywood, to JW, to expo...
where is the fire?

it used to be we come early to church to fellowship, to have BS, to encourage each other,
at JW, ppl come on time via the shuttle buses..
at expo? ppl come late, and leave early...
fellowship? "we did..."
over lunch, and they were lookin into a bowl more often than encouraging someone else...

it used to be ppl get excited by the very thoughts that we are in the Q, waiting for God to touch us...
at JW, its comfort zone...
at expo? its concert, follow by "long distance learning"...
somehow, no one want to press into the altar call area, to lay hold of His anointing..

it used to be every members are actively looking for way to serve...
at JW, serving are for the mature...
now at expo? its only for those who love God passionately...

only for those who love God passionately???
i thought every believer is to love God passionately?

a 68 yr old man telling me that without serving God, we can never grow..
man... what happened to the youths of this generation?
lukewarm?
laid back?
happy to warm the seats?
is helping out in the CG, preparing welfare or refreshment considered as ministry?

WAKE UP!!!!!

LOVE GOD WITH ALL your heart,
ALL your soul,
ALL your mind,
ALL your strength!

YOUR strengthS!!
until you dropped from exhaustion!
until you fully utilise all your talents and gifts...

Don't settle for second best!
Go for the God-best!!

T.E.A.M.work

was thinking of the direction for the new team over the weekend...
and someone innocently asked: "how do you define teamwork?"
which remind me of the principles that i shared years ago in a motivational camp..

T: TOTAL Commitment
E: EQUAL Sacrifice
A: AGREEMENT to common GOAL
M: MOVEMENT
WORK: doing watever it is required...

T: Total Commitment to whatever cause that you have commit yourself to.
and by that, i do expect everyone to be early, and not just on time.
a wise man once say being on time is being late, cause you did not have time to prepare yourself before the actual time.

i would also expect you to give your best shot, until you are out of ideas or energy.
you can't tell a coach you have tried your best in a race, until you dropped at the finishing point panting for air.
you can't tell the family that their son has no more hope until you, as a doctor has tried every way possible to cure the son..
so don't every tell me you can't, until you have tried all ways...


E: Equal Sacrifice
if I can make the effort to wake up early, to travel that extra mile for you,
why can't you?

If everyone is busy helping out, why should you be the only one who should be leaving early?
when you have not ensure that you have done all that is required?


A: Agreement
without agreeing to the COMMON goal, no team can ever grow.
without putting aside our own desires, visions and even our dreams and aligning ourselves to the "Bigger" vision, the team will never move forward...


M: A team will always seek to MOVE forward.
you may fail, but you choose not to give up.
you may be tired, but you choose to push yourself
there may be differences, but you choose to build on each others' strengths, and not weakness..


such a simple principle, but its so hard to find a team who share the same passion and desires to excel..

or am i asking too much?
setting the bar too high for my fellowmates?

well... its up to you to decide..

leaders always set the standards...
disciples are those who choose to give their best to meet the standards...

Jesus set the highest standards for us to live by.
we may fail every now and then, but the most important thing is that we never give up, and keep on moving... keep on learning.. keep on trying... keep on stepping out...

will you keep up?

after 4 days of sick leave...

its so crazy... i was "bedridden" for a good 4 days...
everything seem to jus flashed pass me..
well.. guess the medicine did cause me to sleep the days away..

thank you darling for your TLC these 4 days...
thanks for your herbal teas,
your prayers,
yours huggs,
your love..

I love you darling!!

must also mentioned my very good friend Van for recommending me to visit the vet.
but sad to tell you gal, with such loving care from my darling, i will never need to visit the vet.. heehee

back to work today and i am flooded by 220 emails..
and piles of documents...
its another cycle of work, work, work...
but well... its... WORK..

and talking abt work.. anyone has lobang pls sms me can?
praying for a new job in either of these direction: event management, administrative support, marketing or design...
pls help me to look around ya?
heehee..

everyone in the office have the blackest face possible, and i found out from a few good friends that in my absence, war errupted between the different departments... well.. wat's new...
but it was nice when they mentioned that they miss me.. haha..

okkokookk...
better go back to clear my emails..

crazy lion down..... beware!

flu + cough + fever + sore throat = sick and tired lion...

i am down...
feeling so tired...
and getting very cranky..

jus went with darling to buy "cloths" for WenWen.
getting more tools for her to play with...

haha

our 123th day together!

Darling, this blog is just for you!

You are the precious pearl that God has placed in my hand,

to love and cherish,
to treasure and protect,
to nourish and encourage,

to hold close to my heart till i can hold no more,
to keep you by my side till i leave this world,

to do everything i can, to put a smile on your beautiful face, daily...

i love you darling..

and for those lonely hearts out there... don't just be jealous and admire us...
don't let pride or worldly "self imposed" limitations delay your happiness..
go in faith my friends!!
heehee...

Mother Teresa: "Come Be My Light"

if you have been reading "Times" (http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1655415,00.html), or have been following the news concerning the articles, i am sure you will be wondering how did a great person like her went through all those "dark nights"...

the "now famous" statement echo loud in my mind...

"Jesus has a very special love for you," (she assured Van der Peet.) "[But] as for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great, that I look and do not see, — Listen and do not hear — the tongue moves [in prayer] but does not speak ... I want you to pray for me — that I let Him have [a] free hand."

some in the article refer this period to the "dark nights"...
and it really brought me to remember the dark nights that i went through myself...

nothing in the bible promised that our journey with Christ is all bright and trouble free,
but it promise the presence and guidance of the Holy Spirit...

it doesn't promise riches,
but it promises wisdom to get wealth...

it doesn't promise results that we expected,
but it promised that God in His wisdom will never fail to provide for us, and to lead us to where He has promised us...

but yet, its so hard to trust Him at times...
esp when its dark and you can't see the promises anymore...

put the toughest man in the world in a prison cell alone and you will find that no matter how many promises he may remembered, all these will not be of help to that man..
until he is release from the prison cell, and allowed to interact with society again...

our faith in Christ must never be based on past experiences, nor just empty promises that we tried to memorises... now.. don't get me wrong.. we must study the word, and keep His words close to our heart...

BUT we must also maintain a relationship with God!!

and i believed that unlike what the article said about Teresa's faith crisis, i believed that she may went through the dark nite once, but she failed to return to God, her starting block to recharge her faith, and renew her mind...

read deeper into the article, and it was stated that it was thought by some that her personal struggles to find God helped her to minister to others.

in fact, it was proposed by a article written in "Todays" that her ministry could only be so successful, because she went through the hurts and was able to understand the poor's need to be loved, to be given a direction and a hope for better life..

i can imagine how difficult it was for her to believe that God was able to use her in the beginning to minister to the poorest of poor when people are dying all around her...

i can imagine how frustrated it was for her when no one came forward to help her...

i can imagine how sad it was when people laugh at her for giving up everything to help people who don't deserve her life...

but her faith, and commitment to God kept her serving the purpose that God has given her...
and in doin so, she impacted millions, and won the respect of everyone...

what Mother Teresa did is not new... coz she is just following the example of Jesus!

Jesus had his dark nites, and by seeking God through prayers, he was able to put aside all the fears, doubts and people's mocking, to sacrifice himself for us...

its my prayer that i will do the same for Jesus each day, at work, ministry, and at home..
will you run this race with me?

Godly contentment?

content... a word that sound so alien to me....
my english teacher taught content mean you are happy with what you have, who you are, where you are...

but...

what if you want more?
all in the name of giving your best? and getting the best?
and (grasp!), with the very intention to serve God with all your best?

i don't like to be content!

come on, lets go for the best!

you deserve the best from God, so why settle for somethin else?
God deserve the best effort from you, so why give something of a lesser effort?
your members deserve the best that you, as a leader can give, so why shortchange them?
by being content...

can't imagine myself sayin: "well.. isn't good enough that we are doin the average"
that sound like: "hey.. if the least can be accepted, why do more?"

recent events have caused me to think hard, so much so that four white hairs have appeared..
(count them.. its so depressing) (ok.. side tracked)

but more than the white hairs, i was asked whether was it fair that i "demand" the same standard from others.
that i caused someone else to be living in fear because of the high standard that I set for myself, and for others...

and maybe even more "damaging"... someone asked why aren't i content?
content that i am already "leading a team"
content that i am already involved in many areas in ministry, much more than some leaders
content that i have the privilege to minister to people...

but i want more.
i wan to do more, lead more, inspire more, minister more.

how do we draw the line?
how do we draw the line between hungry for the things of God, and being "content"

question: why must i be content in the first place?

tell pastor that we should be content with 23k members, and he will tell you that there is 1 more soul to be saved...

tell any manager that he should be content with the money he has earned, and he will say there are a lot more to earn...

tell a farmer that he has reaped enough harvest, and he will tell you that the harvest is still plentiful...

so why should we be content?

thinking.. thinking.. thinking...